Hmmm...
I'm terribly indecisive. I feel quite disconnected...I do not feel ambitious about college life and developing a career. I really don't know what I want. Well, I do know that I don't want to be unhappy or regretful or unforgiving for the rest of my life. Are all these years of being too serious about academics finally catching up (I'm thinking sixth grade was the last time I genuinely enjoyed school), am I just being lazy, or do I want to regress to a simpler life - one with the types of problems I know I can deal with? I don't know.
Last term was awful, truth be told. I got used to walking in a ditch of negativity, completely caught up in anxiety and worrying. It's easier to procrastinate and feel sorry for oneself and make excuses than it is to attempt major change. Perhaps I am still there. Bottom line is, I simply feel unmotivated. I want to block out having to think about career development and professional connections and resume-building..I become overwhelmed by mere classes with assignments. "Fun" is not a familiar concept. I value alone time and nature and family and friends. Ok, that sounds all "Little House on the Prairie.." but seriously, money issues and business and dining etiquette, the staples of modern society, are not intriguing to me. I hope there are a few accidental stumblers reading right now. This is totally making up for all those times I've said "pretty good" when I really felt quite the opposite.
Ok, moving on, today I paid three bucks for an Odwalla smoothie. The cashier person declared "two dollars" and when she picked it up she declared that it was in fact three dollars and probably laughed silently. Not being one to question authority, I offered another dollar. Is this place worse than Disneyland? Probably.
I believe that the field sampling class will be the most challenging. I'm in a terrestrial group for my lack of waders, swimming ability, and applicable knowledge of fishes. Each group must define a problem and answer it with data. The hard part will be defining the problem.
Back in chemistry of course, where we are learning about electron configuration. Thank you IPS. Last term there were two 121 classes, and this term there's just one 122. Yeah, implications of annoyance. No lab this week, which is a plus.
Even in yoga I'm finding it difficult to relax. Sheesh. Health class is another one of those "we're- just-trying-to-get-you-through-the-bacc.-core-requirements" sort.
I believed that our job duties would be lessened this term and was disappointed to learn that we were required to attain 13 pts. As luck would have it, I got to choose early in the game. I went with morning dishes on Tuesdays and dinner dishes on Fridays followed by put-away. Then I went with this weekend for weekend job duty to get it out of the way while I'm still relatively unburdened with...stuff.
Day three of week one. It's going to be another long term.
I'm terribly indecisive. I feel quite disconnected...I do not feel ambitious about college life and developing a career. I really don't know what I want. Well, I do know that I don't want to be unhappy or regretful or unforgiving for the rest of my life. Are all these years of being too serious about academics finally catching up (I'm thinking sixth grade was the last time I genuinely enjoyed school), am I just being lazy, or do I want to regress to a simpler life - one with the types of problems I know I can deal with? I don't know.
Last term was awful, truth be told. I got used to walking in a ditch of negativity, completely caught up in anxiety and worrying. It's easier to procrastinate and feel sorry for oneself and make excuses than it is to attempt major change. Perhaps I am still there. Bottom line is, I simply feel unmotivated. I want to block out having to think about career development and professional connections and resume-building..I become overwhelmed by mere classes with assignments. "Fun" is not a familiar concept. I value alone time and nature and family and friends. Ok, that sounds all "Little House on the Prairie.." but seriously, money issues and business and dining etiquette, the staples of modern society, are not intriguing to me. I hope there are a few accidental stumblers reading right now. This is totally making up for all those times I've said "pretty good" when I really felt quite the opposite.
Ok, moving on, today I paid three bucks for an Odwalla smoothie. The cashier person declared "two dollars" and when she picked it up she declared that it was in fact three dollars and probably laughed silently. Not being one to question authority, I offered another dollar. Is this place worse than Disneyland? Probably.
I believe that the field sampling class will be the most challenging. I'm in a terrestrial group for my lack of waders, swimming ability, and applicable knowledge of fishes. Each group must define a problem and answer it with data. The hard part will be defining the problem.
Back in chemistry of course, where we are learning about electron configuration. Thank you IPS. Last term there were two 121 classes, and this term there's just one 122. Yeah, implications of annoyance. No lab this week, which is a plus.
Even in yoga I'm finding it difficult to relax. Sheesh. Health class is another one of those "we're- just-trying-to-get-you-through-the-bacc.-core-requirements" sort.
I believed that our job duties would be lessened this term and was disappointed to learn that we were required to attain 13 pts. As luck would have it, I got to choose early in the game. I went with morning dishes on Tuesdays and dinner dishes on Fridays followed by put-away. Then I went with this weekend for weekend job duty to get it out of the way while I'm still relatively unburdened with...stuff.
Day three of week one. It's going to be another long term.
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